Women in Judaism

1) Introduction to Women’s Issues

a - Don't Filter the Information Through Your Prejudiced Value System. Understand Judaism On Its Own Terms.

b - In Judaism All That Counts is Getting Close to the Almighty. Men and Women Are Entirely Equal in This.

c - Men and Women Are Different in Significant Ways: Therefore it Makes Sense That They Have Different Roles. Each Role is Unique and Essential. Neither Role Can Be Weighted as Being More Important Than the Other.

d - All Great Things in Judaism Are Done in a Hidden Way. Public Roles in Judaism Are Not Considered a Spiritual Advantage.

e - Torah Women Are Happy and Fulfilled With Their Role.

2) What is the Torah View of a Woman?

3) Do Men and Women Have Separate Roles?

4) Why Are Women Not Allowed To Lead the Prayers? Why Can They Not Be Called To the Torah? Why Can They Not Be A Part Of A מנין (a group of 10 men)?

5) Why Can A Woman Not Become A Rabbi? Why Can She Not Learn Gemora? Why Can She Not Be A Witness?

6) Why Are Women Not Obligated In Many Of The Commandments?

7) Why Does A Man Say the Blessing שלא עשני אישה, whereas a woman says שעשני כרצונו?

8) What is the Purpose of Women’s Modest Dress?

9) Why Do Women Have To Cover Their Hair?

10) Why Is A Woman Considered Impure During Her Menstrual Cycle?

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1.      Introduction to Women’s Issues   (top)

The basic outline of the general response to women's issues is as follows: 

Most of the questions have to do with inequality of some sort and are rooted in two misconceptions:

1 -     Women to be equal to men must be the same and must have the same role.  

2 -     The more visible a role, the more important it is.

Based on the above, and coupled with great ignorance and many misconceptions, many secular women are convinced that Torah women are getting a raw deal.

The basic answers to questions on women’s issues are as follows:

a-      Don't filter the information through your prejudiced value system. Understand Judaism on its own terms.

b-      In Judaism all that counts is getting close to the Almighty. Men and women are entirely equal in this.

c-       Men and women are different in significant ways: therefore it makes sense that they have different roles. Each role is unique and essential. Neither role can be weighted as being more important than the other.

d-      All great things in Judaism are done in a hidden way. Public roles in Judaism are not considered a spiritual advantage.

e-      Torah women are happy and fulfilled with their role.

In slightly greater detail, arguments b-e are as follows:

b - What Counts Is Getting Close To The Almighty   (top)

Now, what counts in Yiddishkeit (Judaism) is getting closer to the Almighty - nothing else matters. Accordingly, there is nothing which we think important in the Western world, job, security, etc., which has intrinsic value. For all we know a dish washer may have more opportunities for getting close to the Almighty than an executive.

Two things are certain:

i - G-d wants the maximum closeness possible between Himself and any human being. Anything else is absurd.

ii - Judaism is clear about that women get as much reward for their way of serving G-d as men do for theirs, i.e. each has equal opportunity to get close to G-d through their respective roles[2].

c - Men and Women Are Different In Significant Ways: Therefore It Makes Sense That They Have Different Roles   (top)

     Each role is unique and essential. Neither role can be weighted as being more important than the other. Men and women have obvious physical differences; in addition there are many hormonal, neural and other differences. We have clear evidence that women find directions and conceptualize differently than men[3]. Below, under the questions “What is the Torah view of a woman?” and “Do men and women have separate roles?” we have shown what Judaism claims are these differences and their implications in practice.

     It is interesting that all the secular studies are confirming what Judaism has been saying about the female nature all along[4]. What is quite amazing is that for 3000 years, Judaism has been saying things which are just now being discovered in the secular world.

      A society which does not take into account differences between people is a cruel society; a cripple should not get drafted to the infantry; a genius (who studies hard) deserves a place in college ahead of someone who has an IQ of 70 (who studies equally as hard); a heart patient deserves more health care aid than a healthy person. It is therefore to the credit of Judaism that it has taken note of the differences between men and women and structured society to accommodate these differences.

     Women have a primary responsibility for bringing up the next generation. There is no society in the history of man which did not regard the family as the core unit on which the entire social edifice rests. It is the women who will mold the next generation in their values and psychological makeup. Anyone who thinks that this is a consolation prize needs his/her head examined[5]. Sarah determined what the whole future of the Jewish nation would be by deciding that ישמעאל (Ishmael) must develop his potential outside of the Jewish nation. רבקה (Rebecca) did the same with (Eisav) עשו. Both Sarah and Rebecca had very different ideas to their husbands as to what Ishmael’s and Eisav’s future roles in world history would be. In both cases, it was the female who won out, and who determined certain basic historical patterns for all time. (See Question 2 for greater detail.) The ramifications of a woman's role may not be so obvious today, but cumulatively it is just as great.

d - All Great Things In Judaism Are Done In A Hidden Way   (top)

     Public roles in Judaism are not considered a spiritual advantage. The idea that worth is defined by public recognition is an anti-Jewish idea. In the western world, the people with the most public exposure, the movie stars the rock stars and the sportsmen, are the most highly rewarded, both financially and in terms of the number of fans they have. Yet we all know that they are the least likely to be leading morally mature lives. A billionaire with a temper, five divorces to his name, who is egotistical and insensitive commands more respect in the western world than Joe simple who controls his temper is happily married, other-relating and sensitive. In Judaism we stress that the better known one's good deeds are, the less its value. The world’s greatest Halachic (Legal) authority, Rav Elyashiv, lives without titles in a simple home in a back ally.  This leads on to the idea of (Modesty) צניעות, an idea which we have explored further below.

e - Torah Women Are Happy And Fulfilled With Their Role   (top)

     It is important to stress that Torah women are happy with their roles. The person questioning should be invited to go see this for herself[6].
 

2.     What is the Torah view of a woman?   (top)

     Judaism gives us a comprehensive picture of the female mystique, a picture that, in the last 20 years, has been confirmed by all the scientific studies in this area[7]. We are told of a wide range of feminine qualities all of which have to be understood together to provide us with a complete picture of what a woman is[8].

     As a starting point, let us look at the first two generations of Avos (Fathers) and Imahos (Mothers). Sarah and Abraham have a dispute concerning whether Ishmael should be a part of the Jewish nation, or whether he should be sent out of the Jewish nation to form a new nation. This dispute seems to be repeated in the next generation concerning Eisav. Isaac  seemed to feel that Eisav should be a part of Klal Yisroel (the Jewish Nation). Rebecca felt that he should be excluded. In both cases it was the woman who won out. This tells us that it is a female power to set the boundaries of something, to define the environment, to provide the basic framework in which we operate. Without this, the male force would simply dissipate[9]. This applies to the home, it applies to a baby in the womb and it applies, as we have seen, to the very definition of the Jewish people[10]. This is also why a woman defines whether the baby is going to be Jewish or not[11].

     Another way of looking at this is to see the female force as the final expression of something in this world, that which provides the framework, environment and nurturance within which something can express itself. This is the Midah (Trait) of (Kingship) [12]מלכות. It is also the ה  in the name of HaSh-m [13]ק-ה. 

     Because the female receives from the male, they are in a relationship of משפיע to מושפע[14]. However, it is clear from the above, that female is not just a passive recipient. נקבה (female) completes the process of השתלשלות (development) whereby there can be a final expression of reality down here[15]. The male is pure potential (מהר"ל=מביא); the female is actualization  (מהר"ל=מתקנת), providing the framework in which the initial male spark can be more than a quickly lost flash of energy[16]. Neither has any reality by themselves, and therefore neither can be said to be primary or secondary.

     The woman is the לב (heart), while the male is the (desire) מח .תשוקה, the passion to be committed to something, is therefore a female concept[17]. This helps women have greater faithfulness – אמונה than men, something which has been historically clearly evident[18]. This contributes to a greater, natural sense of שאנן & מנוחה, of inner contentment and peace[19].

     This is not to say that women are passive. On the contrary, she actively engages reality to find its essence, define it, nurture it, set boundaries and develop situations[20].

     This also helps her to have superior empathy, becoming more personally identified with the other person with greater connecting, conversational abilities[21]. In general, women are better at relationships than are men[22]. This is an extension of them being the מתקנת  (making connections), of her בינה יתירה (greater intuition facilitates a deeper understanding of and therefore connection with others) and of their being an עזר כנגדו (the desire to help and be of service to others). Other aspects of this side of her include a greater ability to be receptive and therefore responsive involving greater mercy and a desire to resolve conflict by consensus (and to prefer consensual rather than hierarchical structures.) She is less competitive and aggressive[23], less externally achievement oriented[24]. (This also draws from her tznius (modesty).)

     A combination of her tznius (modesty) and bina yeseira (greater intuition facilitates a deeper understanding of and therefore connection with others) allows her not only to be more insightful, and connecting, consensual and empathetic, but, as a result more holistic and communal[25]. Whereas men tend to break things down into details in order to understand the principles behind them, women tend to engage micro realities, combining them and building them up into wholes. This requires the ability to simultaneously engage many different, seemingly unrelated fragments of reality, a function of her קל דעת. (נשים דעתן קלות)

     The female koach (strenght), includes the ability to recognize and reveal hidden (holiness) קדושה. This draws from her midah (trait) of modesty צניעות, which is the ability to focus on the essence rather than the superficiality of any person or situation[26].  This means that she is more easily in touch with spirituality when surrounded by mundane, physical realities. She sees through superficiality, focusing on the essence. Her midah (trait) of tznius (modesty) allows her to be more inner defined.

3.      Do Men and Women have separate roles[27]?   (top)

     They most certainly do. The worst thing we could do is to try and make women be men and men be women. The women’s liberation movement has realized this for nearly two decades already, demanding not that women be allowed to act like men, but rather that they be given full opportunity to act like women! Since 1982, all psychological studies have been confirming what Judaism has been saying all along – that women have a unique contribution to make to the world.

     Women are not better than men, although they are superior in some areas on the whole, nor are they worse than men, although men do better than women in some areas on the whole[28]. Judaism encourages women to express their strengths, to understand their superior nurturing abilities, insight into people, holistic approach to life - and to use these to make the world a better place. Women are known to have superior social skills, to be more cooperative than competitive, to do better on verbal tasks and a host of other attributes.

4.      Why Are Women Not Allowed To Lead the Prayers? Why Can They Not Be Called To the Torah? Why Can They Not Be A Part Of A מנין (quorum of 10 men for praying)?   (top)

General Introduction: Why some people get commanded and others do not:

     If we see that someone is commanded by G-d to do something it means two things: Firstly, it means that the person has a need for the Tikun (fixing up) of that commandment, i.e. he/she is lacking something which doing this commandment comes to rectify. Secondly, the person must be in basic harmony with the spirituality of the commandment for the Tikun  (fixing up) to be effective[29].

     If someone is not commanded in a particular commandment, it means one of two things. Either the person is not in harmony with that particular thing; or the person does not need that particular thing.

Minyan (10 men):

     Women by their nature are communal, connecting people. In Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, the author describes how women when they have a problem seek out other people, not necessarily to find a solution, but rather to share the problem. Men on the other hand tend to withdraw to their cave. They will only share the problem with someone else if they are looking for a solution, not just for the sake of sharing.

     Women tend to seek out relationships more then men. In religious neighborhoods there is usually a Neshei, a voluntary women’s group, one of whose goals is just to be together. Yet men hardly ever do the same – they need a reason to associate.

     Women are more natural consensus builders than men. Men are more naturally competitive. In a man’s world, things tend to be more hierarchical and authoritarian than in a woman’s world.

     For this reason, men tend to need lessons in community building. They are required to go to the synagogue to make a minyan (group of 10) and participate in the services. Men need this role for their spiritual completion; women do not. Therefore, a woman who would demand to make up a minyan would be stealing that opportunity from a man, which would be an act of selfishness in the guise of spirituality.

     There is no question that one's natural instinct is to be in the limelight, but, that has nothing to do with what is really spiritually meaningful.

5.      Why Can A Woman Not Become A Rabbi? Why Can She Not Learn Gemora? Why Can She Not Be A Witness?   (top)

Please note our general introduction to women’s issues as a background to these answers.

a - Being a Rabbi and learning Gemora:

     Women are expected, in fact even required, to study Torah and they are spiritually rewarded for doing so[30]. The areas of Torah learning which a woman is expected to grasp is so large that it is hard to imagine any woman doing so in a lifetime. 

     Women as a group are not, however, encouraged to learn Gemora. Despite this, Jewish history is full of examples of outstanding (learned women) תלמידות חכמות, of women communal leaders and of women who learn and have learned Gemora. If the requirements of modesty are met, the limitations on female leadership is technically only in the area of paskening shealos (deciding on a legal matter). However, although a Devorah, the Judge, may reluctantly feel forced to play such a role, she would do it with a sense of the enormous sacrifice of her female potential that this would entail.

     A woman learning Gemora, for example, would be training herself to deal with problems in a linear rather than holistic fashion: this would reduce her insight into her children and other people, undermine her intuitive grasp of many situations and compromise her effectiveness to respond to the drama of day to day living both by anticipating events and by spontaneously adapting to new realities without compromising deeper principles. A Torah woman would not ordinarily be willing to give all that up. So it is clear that a woman's not learning certain parts of the Torah is not because she has less of a relationship with the Torah as a whole. On the contrary, the מהר"ל Maharal seems to indicate just the opposite[31].

     It is possible that for some reason the Almighty would create a particular woman with certain male aspects[32]. Such a woman may feel that her עבודת השם (service of G-d) requires her to compromise her phenomenal feminine powers and learn Gemora, which she may then do[33]. However, the number of such women is very small. The chances that you are one of those women is very unlikely. Therefore, at least you should start out by exploring the real woman's role, on the presumption that you will find it infinitely enriching and rewarding. Otherwise you may find yourself very unfulfilled.

     As for being a rabbi, if we get away from the titles for a minute[34], a woman is expected and encouraged to play an active communal role. She can certainly tell people what the halacha (legal rule) on any issue is[35]. Jewish history is in fact replete with examples of Torah women who became fully conversant in wide areas of the Torah[36]. She may not pasken shealos, which means she cannot decide which way the halacha (law) should be in circumstances which were not clearly talked about by previous Halachic (Legal) authorities or which are in dispute by different authorities. However, most rabbis are not qualified to do this either. Only a tiny minority are ever considered (legal authorities) poskim. 

b - Witnesses :

     It is wrong to think that women cannot be witnesses[37]. The principle of עד אחד נאמן באיסורים  (One witness is believed where the issue is deciding whether something is illegal or not) is in fact learned from an (a women of menstrual status) [38]אישה נדה. The fact that I am eating this food now is testimony to my wife's reliability to testify that the food is kosher. For technical reasons, women are restricted from giving certain types of evidence[39], but so are kings, and a whole host of other people[40].

6.      Why Are Women Not Obligated In Many Of The Commandments?   (top)

     A woman is exempt from time based Mitzvahs because her entire approach to serving
G-d is one of constant readiness to respond to changing realities. For example, although one can easily provide for children's physical needs according to certain schedules, facilitating personalities, creative faculties, morals and values requires instant responses and constant alertness.

     In order to allow for this role, women were created with a superior ability to create structure and frameworks[41]. This ability reflects itself also within time-modalities. Most men need outside structure to their days, things that begin and end at a certain time, frameworks and schedules within which there are certain expectations. Women are more capable of creating these structures for themselves. Men are therefore given time-based Mitzvos which are designed to bring out their potential in this way, whereas women actualize this potential on their own.

     However, although not obligated, a woman is entitled to perform any commandment to which she feels a special relationship. However, she must do this because of genuine spiritual yearnings to become closer to G-d and not because of a desire to show that she is liberated, equal to men, or to make a statement. Therefore, those women who have done certain Mitzvos מצוות (like Rashi's granddaughters who put on (Tefillin) תפילין) have made a point of doing so in private without letting anyone know.

7.     Why Does A Man Say The Blessing שלא עשני אישה, whereas a woman says שעשני כרצונו?   (top)

     Men thank G-d for the privilege of having more mitzvos than women[42]. Men are thanking G-d for a particular privilege, not a general one[43]. It is important to note that this Blessing is being said as a part of Birkas HaShachar. These blessings are thanking G-d for our physical reality, for the fact that we can see, that we have clothes, that we can walk, that we have shoe-laces. The blessing, Shelo Asani Isha, must be seen in that context. It was never meant to be a total description of what a man and what a woman is. Time is a part of the physical creation, and a blessing thanking G-d for time-based mitzvos has its rightful place in birkas hashachar, the blessings about the physical reality.

     The Sages never gave women a bracha in lieu of the men’s[44]. They were not given any consolation prize. Sheasani Kirtzono was created by women themselves. This is an unprecedented act of creativity – there is no other known case of a new brocho, not decreed by Chazal, being spontaneously generated.

     In the end, everyone is required to understand their potential and to want to fulfill it - that is all G-d ever asks of us. It is absurd to suggest that Judaism compares potentials and grades people - everyone achieves maximum spirituality by fulfilling their potential.

8.      What is the purpose of Women’s modest dress[45]?   (top)

     Tznius (Modesty) is the quality of being able to cover over the superficiality of a situation in order to reveal the true inner essence and holiness of that situation. Since spirituality is hidden in this world[46], someone who does not have the quality of Tznius (Modesty), will not be able to access spirituality[47].

     An example of this was the receiving of the Torah at Mt. Sinai. When the First Tablets were given, there were convulsions of nature. These proved to be a slight distraction to the Jewish people, a distraction that ultimately led to the Golden Calf and the breaking of the Tablets. When the Second Tablets were given, all of nature was quiet. The Jews were able to focus on the inner essence of the event and they successfully received the tablets. 

     Another example of Tznius (Modesty) is the actions of the High Priest on the Day of Atonement. Yom Kippur is the holiest day; and the Temple was the holiest place on earth. On that day, in that place, the culminating service involved the High Priest doing the service on which the atonement of the entire world depended. Just at that time, he disappeared from view behind the curtain of the Holy of Holies. At that holiest of times, he disappeared from sight so that we could focus on the deep, inner essence of his actions, and not be at all distracted by actually seeing him do the action.

     So Tznius (Modesty) is much broader than dress[48]. It is a fundamental way of accessing spirituality, a way of becoming internally self-aware. And it applies to men as it does to women. In fact the prophet Micha states that it was one of the big three principles of Judaism, together with kindness and justice[49].

     Because Tznius (Modesty) also applies to men, Torah-observant males generally do not walk around in shorts and sandals and T-shirts[50]. And they, like women, ought to shun publicity and high profile situations[51]. It is true that women have an extra capacity for Tznius (Modesty)[52], a fact which allows her to be more easily spiritual, to find the spirituality in other people and to access to sparks of spirituality even in the physical world.

     In Modesty, the keeping brings the understanding. For example, tribal female Africans walking around with large parts of their body exposed would not understand what is wrong with that. And most secular people cannot tell you what is wrong with a woman wearing short sleeves. Once one gets used to something one gets desensitized. But who wants to be desensitized - such a lot is lost.  A person who does not dress, speak and act with Tznius (Modesty) is simply denying him/herself the opportunity of peeking behind the veil of this world into the mysteries, which lie behind it.

9.      Why Do Women Have To Cover Their Hair?   (top)

     Hair is the only part of a woman’s body, which seems to have no other function other than to add to her beauty. Women cover their hair because it is a part of their inner beauty[53], which only their husbands, who can get to know that inner beauty intimately, can perceive correctly. Jewish women through the ages have therefore come to perceive covering their hair as the essence of being an inner defined person[54]. Strictly speaking, women need not cover their hair from other women, only from other men. But many women feel that their own internal sense of Tznius (Modesty) is violated when they keep their head uncovered even where it is halachikally (legally) permissible.

     “The head; being the part of the body encasing the mind, represents our exalted status as human beings.  By emphasizing the head, we are emphasizing this statement of humanity that we emanate (i.e. graduates wear distinctive four cornered tasseled caps, Indian chiefs wear special headdresses, the High Priest in the Temple wore a distinctive hat called the mitznefet).  A married woman covers her hair as a sign of the added dignity now accorded to her.” (Gila Manelson, Inside/Outside)

     The covering of a woman's hair is akin to including her aura within her inner essence (סוד המקיף) similar to a man's covering his head with his טלית (tallis) while praying[55].

Why Only a Married Woman?

     A woman who gets married covers her hair to reflect “a deep and irreversible change ... in undergoing the transition from being single to being married, ... from sexual naiveté to direct knowledge of intimacy... When a woman who is no longer sexually naive displays something sensual about herself, it is now likely to “radiate more energy,” because of her own experiential awareness of what it can evoke... When a woman covers her hair upon marrying she makes the statement: “My eyes have been opened - and at the same time, I intend to keep my sexuality where it belongs: in the intimacy of marriage.” (Outside/Inside pg. 46-47) In fact, the ridding of this naiveté even outside of marriage was considered reason enough to cover one’s hair. Thus Tamar covered her hair after Amnon had assaulted her. (שמואל ב יג יט). To counter the fact that her privacy had been tampered with, and in order to maintain her natural sense of   בושה and צניעות, she covered her hair when in public. This was a refinement that went beyond that which is normally expected of single girls. (Modesty-An Adornment for Life, pg. 245))

     In the time of חז"ל (our Sages of Blessed memory), even non-Jews had this sensitivity of covering their hair when married. (מס' סנהדרין נח:) The state that we find ourselves in now, of married women not feeling the need for a particular modesty once married is completely unnatural. (Modesty-An Adornment for Life, pg. 227)

     Lisa Aiken, pg. 133: “Some people wonder what a married woman accomplishes by covering her hair if she is more attractive wearing a wig than when exposing her real hair. There is no reason why a woman should not look attractive; they are prohibited from looking attracting...It can still make her more aware of G-d's presence.”

     Wigs raise the issue of “the letter versus the spirit of the law”.  The permissibility of wearing a wig indicates that a woman primarily covers her hair for herself.  The head-covering serves as a reminder to the woman of her special status as a married woman. (Gila Manelson, Inside/Outside)

     Outside/Inside pg. 48-49: “Cross-culturally, when we want recognition of our higher status, we draw attention to our head. A graduating university student wears a distinctive, tasseled, four-cornered cap. Dignitaries from almost all religions wear impressive-looking
headgear. The priests of the Jewish Temple wore turban-like head apparel. Among members of a Native American tribe, the chief wears the largest headdress. All intuitively recognize that the head, where the mind lies, represents the seat of our humanness, and that by emphasizing it, you create an ever stronger statement of your stature as a human being.”

     “In this view, a woman covers her head upon marrying as a sign of the greater dignity now attributed her. (From this perspective even a bald woman would cover her head.) ... Many women, in fact, regard their head covering as a queen does her crown.”

10. Why Is A Woman Considered Impure During Her Menstrual Cycle?   (top)

     טומאה (Impurity) reflects a loss of potential. The greater the loss, the greater the (impurity) טומאה. A dead human body has greater טומאה (impurity) than that of an animal. A woman's menstruation is a signal of the loss of potential fertilization of that month's egg cell, which could have led to another human life. When a woman goes to the מקוה Mikvah (a ritual purification and cleansing bath) at the end of this period, she is renewing her creative energies for the coming month.

     Pure טהרה (purity) is the highest stage of [56]דעת, i.e. the ability to connect with something or someone in a totally integrated way. Similarly, pureטומאה  (impurity) represents the furthest from קדושה  (holiness) conceivable[57].    Therefore, a dead corpse, even of an animal or an insect, is a source of (impurity) טומאה. Touching such a corpse transmits thatטומאה  (impurity) to a person (but not to a live animal who will touch it). This is because it is we humans who have a finely tuned sensitivity to spiritual realities. טומאה  (impurity) always reflects a loss of potential. Our contact with such loss effects our own spiritual realities to some degree.[58]

     “An analysis of the various species of tumah (impurity) reveals that what they have in common is the awareness of death. The most potent source of impurity is, indeed, a corpse or a part thereof. The other kinds of tumah (impurity) imply, indirectly, the suggestion of death, even if only the loss of potential life. … The Metzora … includes the withering and dying of the limbs of the leper. … the Rabbis taught that a leper is considered as if he were dead. … [So too] semen … is the loss of potential life. … A nidah (a women during her menstrual cycle) …loses an unfertilized ovum, … a whisper of death.” (Norman Lam – A Hedge of Roses, pg. 84)

 All forms of טומאה  (impurity) have purification, even the impurity of a dead person טומאת מת [59]

A woman's menstruation is a signal of the loss of potential fertilization of that months egg cell or ovum, which could have led to another human life[60]. This loss, is a kind of distancing, reflected in the (impurity of a women during her menstrual cycle) Tumas Nidah[61].

     A woman during her menstrual flow, is focused on re-preparing her body for a new cycle, a kind of healing process. Since her bodily energies are more focused on this, she is less available for the kind of holistic spiritual, intellectual and emotional unity which ought to accompany relations with her husband. Hence relations during this time would become
more of a base, physical act. This is the very opposite of the marital union, whose whole essence is purity. Hence the Torah prohibited it, as it did other forms of illicit unions[62]. 

     While a woman is still a נדה  (in her menstrual cycle) until after she goes to the Mikvah (a ritual purification and cleansing bath) מקוה, the שבעה נקיים is a part of the process of purification and not just in anticipation of it. Counting is done in Judaism to show that something is dear to us[63]. For example, we count with joy towards מתן תורה "receiving of the Torah" with ספירת העומר.

     When a woman goes to the mikvah (a ritual purification and cleansing bath) at the end of this period, she is dipping, so to speak, in the primordial waters at the beginning of creation, thereby renewing her creative energies for the coming month[64]. Although the way a mikvah purifies is ultimately a mystery[65], we understand that, as primordial waters, it has to be מים חיים, waters connected to an ongoing, fresh source of water[66]. Such water is called מים חיים  because water is the source of  all life. (In fact most of our body is comprised of water, about 60%.)[67]. That is why Mikvah always comes as a transition from a lower to a higher state, such as that of a non-Jew to becoming a Jew or just before Shabbos and the Holidays [68].

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