The Jewish Wedding II

Copyright (C) 1988, the Inner Foundations
Reprinted from Connections Magazine with permission
Not for commercial redistribution without written consent
of copyright holder and the Estate of Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach

Transcribed and edited by Emuna Witt
in Honor of Her Brother Josh and his Kallah Rena
and Every Chasan and Kallah.

Why does the Bas Kol (voice from heaven) come to say who will who will marry
whom forty days before the person is born? Why not at their Bat/Bar Mitzvah, or
when they are born? The Ribbono Shel Olam (Master of the Universe) is the only
mezaveg zeevugim (one who can match couples). So, the Bas Kol comes before any
relatives or friends can say anything!

Chasan (groom) and Kallah (bride), you must know that HaShem really put you
together! You should be blessed to have a vision of what HaShem wants you to do
in the world. You should always be clear that you are soul mates. How do you
know if you love someone? If you have a hard time telling her anything bad. In
her presence everything is so beautiful, so good.

You know, the connection between Chasan and Kallah was created by G-d even
before He created the world. And before He created the world He created
Yerushalayim, and He stood in Yerushalayim and He created the world. And
before G-d created the world, He built the Beis HaMikdash (Holy Temple). He stood
on the Beis HaMikdash and He created the world. And before He created the
world, He created children. So G-d stood in Yerushalayim, in the Beis HaMikdash,
surrounded by children, and G-d created the world.

It is a privilege to be getting married because you are tasting G-d’s Oneness by
loving another human being, by bringing children into the world. Is there a
higher revelation than little children?

The Chupah (marriage canopy) is like a roof. Walking around it seven times is
building the walls of your home with holiness. Walking around seven times, the
Kallah gives the Chasan so much strength, so that evil will not be able to reach
him. Walking around seven times sanctifies your home so nothing unholy can

Avraham Aveinu, our father Abraham, taught us how to talk to each other and to
G-d. His whole thing was bringing people close to G-d so he had to know how to
communicate. May you be blessed to always be able to speak to each other. You
should always know how to talk to your children and may your children always
be able to tell their secrets to you. Who else shall they tell? So you should always
share secrets which each other and your children.

If people should come to you broken, you should be able to create their world
again. You should be able to give them a new neshama (soul). When your children
cry, take them under your tallis (prayer shawl) and pray with them, to give them
strength forever.

Chasan and Kallah, you are beginning a new life! It is impossible to see a Chasan
and Kallah walking to the Chupah without doing complete Teshuvah (penance)!
You only came down into the world to build your miniature Beis HaMikdash. Our
covenant between G-d and all of Israel is the covenant between husband and wife
which we share with our children.

When you get married, you are privileged to the deepest secrets of the Torah, the
secrets of being married. Halacha is how one walks with G-d, so it should be clear
to you how exactly G-d wants you to walk with Him—how to walk with your wife
and with your children.

When a man and woman come together, they form the Word of G-d’s Holy Name
Yud Kei Waw Kei. Yud Kei is Chasan. He is responsible for all holy thoughts in the
marriage. Waw Kei is Kallah. She is responsible for all holy actions. When the
Kallah holds out her finger to receive the ring, she forms the letter Waw and the
five fingers are for the Kei. The Yud Kei is so holy because Yud is so small, but it is
the Kallah which makes the Chasan big!

When you believe in G-d nothing is impossible. What¹s too hard for G-d? When
people love each other they are on the level of the impossible, because then you
know that everything impossible can be possible! G-d putting two people together
is totally on the level of the impossible!

So the Kallah gives the Chasan a tallis which is the symbol of prayer. May you
pray for the redemption of the world. May the gates be open for all your prayers.
Because of one prayer, the world can be redeemed. One couple can bring
Messiach. May you be that one couple!

by  Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach
Posted in: Personal Growth