In an independent study of newlywed couples, when husbands were asked why they feed their babies, the overwhelming response was, “Because she’s hungry!”  When the wives were asked the same question, the response was, “Because she’s my baby and I love her and I want to do what’s best for her”.

There’s a very special bonding of the souls between mother and child that fathers just don’t seem to have at the outset. It probably has something to do with those nine months when mother never goes anywhere without taking little tyke along with her (on the inside of course).

And just like some moms and dads may disagree on how to dress a baby in the winter, they also differ on some of the details of serving G-d. But on one thing they all agree – this too comes easier to a woman than it does to a man.

There are many reasons that are given for that.  One reason is that Eve was created from Adam who himself was created from the dust of the ground.  She, therefore, starts out on a higher spiritual level being one step further removed from her earthly desires.  Another reason is that, when you look at the order of Creation, the crowning achievement of the First Six Days was the creation of Adam.  The unique combination of the physical and spiritual manifests itself in the most important, complex being in the Universe - Man.  But, ahem, who came after Adam (and is a whole lot more complex)?  Woman - Eve.  She was the result of the direct will of G-d – created as a help-meet for man and the finishing touch to a world that G-d Himself said is “very good”.

Because of this, she doesn’t have to work nearly as hard as men do to connect with her spiritual source.  She already has that special bond – just like the one between her and baby. Us guys need a lot of help to reach a spiritual “high”.  That’s why we need at least nine others before we can say certain holy prayers.  We need constant reinforcements, like tefillin and a steady schedule of learning to remind us that there is a G-d above guiding our efforts.  We need to be involved continuously in doing G-d’s commands in order to achieve the same spiritual level that a woman can get by simply reciting one chapter of Psalms.

That’s why it is the woman who has been entrusted with the role of giving over the Jewish soul to a newborn child.  Because she is the one who is ultimately responsible for raising him and instilling within him the spirit of being a Jew.

What a unique privilege.  What an awesome responsibility!

Happy is the woman who can say in her prayers each morning, “Thank You, G-d for making me according to Your Will.”

From a secular viewpoint there is no real inherent value to any person.  Man is but a tiny speck of matter in a gigantic universe which extends for billions of light years.  From this perspective man is not worthwhile or worthless, he just is.  From this point of view a person need not feel inferior to anyone else as a person.  One must have some set of criteria to measure people and any method is completely arbitrary.  Even if some philosophers set up some rules and everyone on earth accepted it, you would still not have to measure yourself by those standards.  One need not consider oneself a failure, for this would not exist in reality, but only as someones subjective value judgement which you need not accept.

From a secular point of view a person has a choice about how he will judge himself.  He can choose to refrain from accepting any value judgement and exist without evaluating himself.  He can also choose to accept an arbitrary value of his worth set up by other people of his society.  In some areas of the world having a lot of green paper with certain words and pictures printed on it is a measure of a person’s value.  In other areas of the world excelling at hunting or fishing is the criteria for success in life.  In some areas, the ability to impersonate other people on stage or screen is considered a criteria for greatness.  A group of people can make up some new and unique value system of human worth.  For example, to skillfully throw a cube through a hole in a board might make a person a great hero.  This is no more ridiculous than a person feeling superior because he excels at games called baseball, football, or chess.  It is unnecessary to have a low self-image when you can easily invent some criteria by which you are a success.  What makes anyone else’s criteria more valid than your own?

From the Torah point of view, there is inherent value in every person.  Man was created in the image of the Almighty (Genesis 1:27 and 5:1) and is the pinnacle of creation.  By accepting and internalizing this attitude a person appreciates he has value just because he exists.

excerpt from “Gateway To Happiness” pg. 120

Related Audio: The Secret To Happiness

We all have one of those; the day that you fear and dread. For some, it’s “That” appointment with the dentist.  For others, there’s “That” day when you have your visit to your local Traffic Court Judge.  And then there’s always “That” day, April 15th, when taxes are due.

The Jewish people also have a “That” Day.  It’s called Tisha B’Av (which means the Ninth day of the Hebrew month of Av) and it occurs this year on Tuesday, July 20th.

What qualifies it as a “That” Day?  Here are just a few things that happened on that day over the millennia:

The destruction of the First Temple in Jerusalem by Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon in 586 BCE.
(The Temple was the site where the Jewish people used to gather three times each year, on Passover, Shavuot and Succoth, as well as on the High Holy Days of Jewish New Year {Rosh Hashanah} and the Day of Atonement {Yom Kippur}. It is where the Holy of Holies was located that housed the Tablets of the Ten Commandments that were brought down from Mount Sinai by Moses. It was the seat of the Jewish High Court, the Sanhedrin, and was the center of spirituality and holiness).

The destruction of the Second Temple (same as the First) in Jerusalem by the Romans in 70 CE.
Pope Urban II declared the First Crusade.
The Jews of England were expelled in 1290.
The Jews of Spain were expelled in 1492. (Christopher Columbus set sail for America the following day).
World War I broke out in 1914 when Russia declared war on Germany.
Deportation began of the Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto.

With all of these terrible tragedies occurring on the same day, you would think that we should stop and take notice.
We do.

Beginning Monday night, right before sundown, we begin a fast of just over 24 hours during which we are supposed to reflect on our unique history, ask ourselves what we can do to make this world a better place and thank G-d that we live today in peace and freedom.

Our Sages tell us that in the future, “This” day will be one of great celebration. (Even better than if your dentist told you, “Congratulations, no cavities!”)

May “That” Day come speedily in our time.

Just because I know that Wyoming is a state and not a country and I can get to places without a GPS and I can hammer in a nail without hurting myself, my wife thinks I’m a genius. But, to tell you the truth, there are so many other important things that I don’t know.

For example:

How did we get transparent cells in our eyeballs but nowhere else?
What’s on the other side of the end of the Universe?
If you have to keep off the grass, how do the “Keep off the Grass” signs get there?
What’s in a name?
How does an aspirin know if you have a headache or you banged your knee?
Why do fools fall in love?
How do you “get an idea”?
What’s the difference between rigorous and vigorous?
What’s the difference between flammable and inflammable?
Which REALLY tastes better – Alpo or Purina (and what’s the difference)?
To be or not to be?
Why aren’t babies born with a full set of teeth that come as standard equipment like fingers and toes?
What’s the margin of error of a margin of error?
After we reach the end of days, who’s gonna know?
Where’s the beef?

There are so many things I don’t know, I don’t even know what they are. If YOU know any of the answers, I’d love to hear from you. But please don’t tell my wife, I would hate to spoil her impression of me.

I met somebody today for the first time. She can’t walk. In fact, she couldn’t even hold her head up.

The doctors have her on a liquid diet. They said it might be five or six months before she could eat any solid food.

Her vision was kind of blurry. She can only make out shapes and shadows. In any event, she didn’t recognize me.

I tried speaking to her but she paid little attention. She could hardly speak. She made a few sounds, but that was it. Perhaps it’s because she has no teeth.

I guess the hardest part, at least for me, was that she had to be diapered. She cannot control herself. She didn’t seem to mind. It was just one more sign of her age.

While she could not do anything for herself, everyone who stood around was hopeful and excited.
She was oblivious of their prayers and good wishes.

Some people have everything and can do everything but they take it all for granted. What a happiness it is to have even the basic privileges of life. Everything else, even a little, is a bonus.

I picked her up and cradled her in my arms. The doctor said she weighed in at 7 pounds 6 ounces. We named her after her grandmother. She looks like her mother.

This most precious gift has been given the most precious gift - life. This healthy, normal baby is God’s latest masterpiece.

The world is open before her. I hope she will never lose sight of what is truly important.

I have often thought that if Hollywood stars have a role to play, it is to teach us that happiness has nothing to do with fun.  These rich, beautiful individuals have constant access to glamorous parties, fancy cars, expensive homes, everything that spells “happiness.”  But in memoir after memoir, celebrities reveal the unhappiness hidden beneath all their fun: depression, alcoholism, drug addiction, broken marriages, troubled children, profound loneliness.

Yet people continue to believe that the next, more glamorous party, more expensive car, more luxurious vacation, fancier home will do what all the other parties, cars, vacations, homes have not been able to do.  The way people cling to the belief that a fun-filled, pain-free life equals happiness, actually diminishes their chances of ever attaining real happiness.  If fun and pleasure are equated with happiness, then pain must be equated with unhappiness.  But, in fact, the opposite is true: More times than not, things that lead to happiness involve some pain.

As a result, many people avoid the very endeavors that are the source of true happiness.  They fear the pain inevitably brought by such things as marriage, raising children, professional achievement, religious commitment, civic or charitable work, self-improvement.

- D. Prager, radio commentator and author

True story.

My father, Gd bless him, turned 85 last summer. That’s a big, round number so it called for a celebration.  We invited the entire family together, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, for a major, Sunday afternoon picnic.

My brother arranged with a local State park for us to have a secluded corner for the lot of us from dawn till dusk.

Everyone brought something: bats, balls, Frisbees, blankets, lounge chairs, volleyball net (complete with badminton rackets), a wading pool for the kids and sunscreen.

Each family also brought their assigned share of food: soda, fruit, vegetables, salads, condiments, plastic plates, knives and forks, a cooler of ice, desserts and plenty of meat.

Of course the highlight was the barbecue. We even brought our own portable grill (being kosher we couldn’t use the public ones from the park), and loaded it with charcoal briquettes (mesquite for that real BBQ flavor).

And then it happened.

We looked around at our family and realized – no one smokes. There wasn’t a match to be found anywhere. No one in the immediate vicinity had one either so my brother-in-law had to drive three miles to the nearest mini-market to buy a box of wooden matches.

Many of us approach Judaism the same way.

Some of us have all of the outer trappings – beards, hats, prayers, Shabbat, kosher – but we leave out the fire. Others take upon themselves little steps at a time. We light Friday night candles, we pray once a day, we start saying blessings over the food we eat, we might even attend synagogue more than just a few times a year - but we lack that inner spark.

What keeps us going? Why have the Jewish people been doing these things for all of these years?

It’s due to the constant awareness that there is Gd in Heaven Who loves us like a father. He provides for us and sustains us all our lives with all that we individually need for our maximum happiness.

And what wouldn’t you do for your father? And if YOU’RE a father (or a mother) what wouldn’t you do for your children? Our Father in Heaven gave us a Universe chock full of wonderment and wonderful things for us to enjoy. Judaism says that each person is supposed to say to himself, “For ME was this entire world created.”

And while it’s true that life isn’t always a picnic and some people bring more to the party than others, some less, the constant awareness that all that we have and all that happens to us comes from Gd’s love and guidance, should fill us with the fire and desire to give back whatever we can to our Father in Heaven.

Happy (everyday is) Father’s Day.